Restless Nights to Big Goals

 Let’s be honest!!!! We’ve all been there. Once overthinking starts, it just keeps going until we’re drained or even depressed. The moment I try to sleep, my brain decides to create imaginary scenarios until I feel miserable. But in my case, was it really a curse… or kind of a blessing? Let’s figure it out.

I’ve always been an average person. Be it academics or any extracurricular, I usually chose comfort over pushing myself. And being “average” all my life, I knew one thing, if I wanted a decent package in my late twenties, I had to start working. After college, I got into a company with a decent package. The work was good, and for the first time, I felt above average. That feeling was so new that it actually pushed me to go for certifications and try out new processes in my company. Honestly, it felt amazing.

But then again I started feel like something is undone. Every night, when I went to sleep, I couldn’t shake the thought that I hadn’t really achieved anything. That’s where the overthinking kicked in. I’d lie there, imagining, what if someday I get laid off? What if nobody hires me because I don’t have a degree from a big-name college? And trust me, those thoughts crushed me. I even tried telling myself, “I can control my mind, lol,” but of course, nothing worked.

My overthinking literally killed my sense of achievement. like no matter what I did, it didn’t feel enough. But weirdly, that’s also what pushed me to think bigger. That’s when I decided to prepare for CAT. Since then, I feel like I’m finally chasing my full potential. Yeah, the journey is tough, but I want to give it everything, just to see what my utmost potential really looks like.

But sometimes I still find myself spiraling, what if I don’t get into a college? What if I end up with no future? What if I don’t land a job even after my masters? Do I even want to enter the corporate sector? Will I be able to survive under the burden of student loans from a big college? The questions never end. And then I remind myself, Shut up!! Piglet! (Piglet, of course, being the little overthinker from Winnie the Pooh.)